well, as they say, it's all over but the cryin.' not that there's going to be any crying. the whole experience was so surreal that already it's receding to nothingness in my mind. it was just such an anomaly that, frankly, it might as well never have happened. about the only reality left now is that i'm stuck in minnesota until sunday. happy to see my family, yes, very much...but it's fucking cold here and i'm not entirely certain i'll get much work done.

the process itself actually made me wish i'd applied on the east coast. the other applicants, by and large, were extremely cool people who actually made it somewhat enjoyable to sit around in a small room all day. but no one--not the committee, not the candidates, not a single person, seemed to be thinking about practically any of the things i've been thinking about all year. they weren't so much into theoretical/quantitative political science, nobody followed my point-A-to-point-B with electoral systems and women's representation, and most frighteningly of all, no one had given a moment's thought to the actual rhodes process. one extremely smart young person actually said "classist? what's that? like, racist only with class?" um, yes. i wasn't challenged about the race issues of higher ground because no one seemed to recognize their existence. i wasn't even asked why the representation of women was *important.* the interview was a strict twenty minutes of total softballs with no real inroads into my actual project, actual world events, or my knowledge of oxford. very *nice*, but not what i was looking for after $500 of planes, suits and hotel, a thousand miles and a world of stress.

...on the other hand, i wasn't kidding when i said everyone there was great (well, with the exception of one kid. ugh.). it was about the best group of random midwesterners i've seen, extremely well-informed and excited about their work, wholly un-diverse but with a cool diversity of experience, and extremely personable. i think i'll probably keep in touch with a few. (sam chase i will look for in best buy commercials--what a day job!)

hmm. so. tocqueville, and tonight, decorating our christmas tree. hurrah...oh, and there's a skating rink in the back yard. wheeeeee.