tortured (ha!) metaphor (well, ok, simile)

writing application essays for fellowships is just about as fun as impaling yourself on something, except you want to get the angle just right so you keep dragging yourself off the spike and giving it another go. also, every so often someone comes along and gives you a good push, whether you like it or not, just to make sure you're getting it right. unfortunately, none of the someones agree on what the correct angle actually is.

...which is,all in all, enough to give a person a bit of a stomach-ache.