EJ's memorial was yesterday, near his hometown, which is outside of boston. definitely one of the longest days i can remember, in every possible way.

it was good to be there, however. good for us, good for EJ's parents (i think). rishi, nori, collin, farid and i drove up and met paul, roban, benben, schwartz, misha, wayne, mike. then roban and paul headed back to swat with those of us who drove up. the memorial was held in what seemed like an old estate, with ornamental gardens and everything. very pretty, and for that reason, somehow, very confusing to me. the attempt at a party atmosphere was a little...awful.

pictures and things of EJ's were out in the parlour of the old house: pics from childhood, from high school and college, pics with his sister; a few pieces of clothing, his everpresent hat...and the posters from his dorm room. lots of memories there. the posters are all beat-up and the corners are torn, since he just slapped the same three up every year with duct tape. all the swatties walked in together to look at the stuff, and there was nothing to do but laugh, and remember. it seemed so odd at a funeral to be staring at led zeppelin, "beer: helping ugly people have sex since 1842" and the seven duffs.

but then, it wasn't really a funeral. there was music (all vintage EJ stuff with a couple of exceptions) over the sound system, and friends took turns at the mic, remembering stories and good times, and there was very little prayer or anything like it. with the exception of "what the world needs now," it was a very...EJ...event.

the trip home seemed incredibly long...but it was good just the same. i slept some, which i hadn't on the way up, and the seven of us chatted around, some about our memories of EJ but, well, probably just as much about who had slept with whose mom. and that was ok, i think. it's tempting to assume that life kind of stops when something like this happens, but i suppose i'm almost old enough to accept that it never does.